Bryan appeared Jul 22, 2015 on Last Comic
To save a little cash, I
decided to drive my Van from Denver to my new
home in Southern California.
A thousand mile journey...A LIFETIME OF
My Sweet Ass Chevy Grand Caravan, that my wife
just HAD to have for one road trip three years
ago, was packed to the gills. (in a
Not-So-Orderly Fashion)...Like really
not-so-orderly. So not-so-orderly that when I
took it to get a fresh oil change,
Jiffy Lube register girl was surprised that I
was able to give her a HOME address. She
laughed as she said, "I thought you were
homeless with all that junk in your car."
Funny, I didn't find that so hysterical. I don't
think anyone would be AMUSED to have the look of
someone who's bottoming out in life. I knew I
should've shave that day.
I took off on my 1000 mile, 2 day journey with
enough caffeine and candy bars to make a Koala
It was a burning hot, late summer day in Denver,
so the first thing I did was roll up the windows
and crank up the AC. After about 9 seconds of
what felt like a big dog breathing on me, I
realized, MUCH TO MY CHAGRIN, that I would not
be enjoying the benefits of an Air Conditioner
on this trip.
I coughed up enough cuss words to make pimps in
Deadwood go to confession before I had even left
It was so hot that I drank all of my super
caffeinated soda within the first hour of my
trip. So I was ridiculously hot and now wired
out of my mind.
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